Fathers in motion

Whenever Father’s Day nears a plethora of kitschy quotes about fathers, and what makes them great, crops up. But I find them all so generic, nothing like the priceless wisdom you glean from your father – or a man who fills that role in your life. Because fathering a child is not just about biology…it’s about mentorship, understanding, influence and
love. That was among treasured sentiments shared around a table with five strong, grounded men, who each brought a unique perspective on fathering. Their collective thoughts were poignant and formed a pool of invaluable insight as we pay homage not only to the role of a father, but to the family as a whole.

We asked the fathers to share along two thoughts: a piece of advice they learnt from their own fathers and one valuable life lesson they would like to share with their children…

Eric Hardy – Honour Your Mother

Father of Oliver (23), Ben (17), Jack (12) and Bella-Rose (9)
“For me, it was less about what my father told me but more about what he did. When I was growing up fathers were less involved in their children’s lives than what we are now. My father was a great man; what I took away from him was the way he honoured my mother. I am astounded at the level of disrespect I see from some young men toward their mothers. As a father, I have instilled in my boys the importance of showing their mother honour and respect; this, I learnt, brings stability and perspective to the household. I am quite a disciplinarian, especially with my sons, because I’m raising husbands – they will have to respect and honour their own wives one day. I want them to treat their families with biblical, loving authority. As a father, I give advice but I know when to let go with peace in my heart.
The concept of stewardship is most important to me: my children will lead someday, and I want them to look after whatever they are given, be it time, a talent, money or a friendship. I pray that I will raise God-fearing children with strong character, who treat everyone they meet equally, because they will have an effect on them.”

Gary Strydom – Be Present, Be Constant 

Father of Travis (17), Trent (14), Reece (12) and Rogan (9)
“My parents are divorced, but at the outset I will say that something good came out of it: I witnessed first-hand the power of a praying mother, aunts and the value of a strong family unit. That sense of community, love and stability as our family rallied around is something I still carry with me today. But my father…what an admirable man – well-rounded and disciplined. He is still one of my closest friend, who taught me that when my wife is right – she’s right. And when she’s wrong…she’s right. Even though my parents were divorced my father was never absent. He was present. I have a constant bond with him, nothing that I need to switch on and off. I love my boys, and they will feel it: they are hugged and kissed and we have WWE in our house often. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives and wives to submit to their husbands, but if I could add something it would be: husbands create the correct environment for your wives to submit. Nobody is perfect, but if you are present, you’ve got a better chance.”

Dominic Symes – Keep the Balance

Father of Kayleigh (23), Abigail (10) and Emma (9)
“My father was one of those businessmen who overworked and never spent much time with us. Having said that, he taught me much which I am grateful for – lessons I can share with my daughters. I know he loved us, and in my own life I have tried to maintain a careful balance between work and family life. My dad emphasised character; he always said that character can be tested by seeing something through to the end, if you promised to do something, do it. I want to instil consistency in my girls and teach them that nothing comes easy in life; things take time.
I will admit, I spoil my daughters but there is balance. Their mother and I make sure they see both sides of life and know that they have to work for the things they need. My mother inspired our family to stay rooted in faith in God – I want that for my girls. I would love them to stay plugged in to a local church, stay close to God and progress in the house of the Lord. They will be wives one day; as parents, we only want to give them the best so they make us proud.”

Russell van Rensburg – Show Your Emotion

Father of Luke (11), Joshua (9), Jude (4), Hudson (1) and sweet angel Mikayla.
“At the John Maxell Leadership Institute we learn about the law of a picture – people do what they see. My father was in the military so there was never an abundance of emotional, physical contact. He showed us his love in the way he worked hard to make sure our family was provided for. To this end, I tend to over-compensate with my boys in that area; I want them to feel my emotions. It was a privilege to grow up under my father; he taught me perseverance and sacrifice, and that as the head of my home I must put my family first. In Proverbs 4:1, the Bible says: ‘hear, my sons, your fathers’ instruction’. That is the advice I want to pass down to my sons, for when they become fathers one day. That scripture illustrates how, as fathers, we must intentionally give our children instruction and be deliberate, giving wise counsel. As sons, and daughters, they will then listen.”

Justin Scott – Be Better

Father of Ceagan (17), Roxann (15) and Datin (11)
“I never had a positive role model in my father; my parents were divorced when I was six months old. My grandfather – we called him the last gentleman – never had much physical contact with us but he taught me to work hard for the people I love. Another man who sowed into my life is my wife’s father. When I met Lorinda, I watched her father closely and learnt so much: respect, family and love. I was determined to impart that to my children. I am passionate about being a father to those who need you; I’m not perfect, but I’m present in every moment with my children. I always tell Ceagan and Datin to be a better father than I am; not to say I’m a bad father, but just imagine if every generation got just a little better. What a legacy we would have. A piece of advice I want to pass on comes from my mentor, Kevin Potter: you are no different to the people you meet and the books you read.

Images: Shot at Kearsney Manor by Samantha Akker Basson of Precision Photography Ballito.